(Editor's Note: Thanks to pals at BartcopForum we have an mp3 of this exchange for slower connections to enjoy. Get it HERE - Only about a meg.)

The Randi Rhodes VS Oliver North Transcript:
A Take Back The Media Exclusive:

One of our fabulous Media Watchers took the time to create a transcript of the drubbing Randi Rhodes gave Oliver North in her Studio. It was so intense that North threw down his headphones and fled from the station. Enjoy:

RANDI: Can you kill somebody with a paper clip?

NORTH: I can if you want me to show you how, but then I’d have to kill you.

RANDI: Well, that’s ok. I mean, really, can it be done?

NORTH: Sure it can.

RANDI: It really can.

NORTH: Take that thing, unfold it, and stick it real deep in your eye, and you’ll die.

RANDI: So it’s an eye thing.

NORTH: It’s an eye thing.

RANDI: Can you snap my husband’s neck like a pencil?

NORTH: No, not like a pencil.

RANDI: Not like a pencil.

NORTH: All those things can be done; and, and, of course, we train people to do those kinds of things in the armed forces.

RANDI: Why are you standing up? I don’t…

NORTH: I’ve been sitting on my duff for three hours in the other studio.

RANDI: Oh, I know. I asked you what you were talking about on your show today, and you said you were talking about Tom Daschle. What were you saying about Tom Daschle?

NORTH: Nothing kind. I mean, Daschle’s gone on the attack against talk radio, and and he’s made some very irresponsible claims.

RANDI: He missed the point, I agree. I have to agree with you. I think that, you know – I’m a devout liberal, and I say it proudly – but the truth of the matter is he missed the point, that talk can incite, you know, violence or that Rush Limbaugh is inciting violence against him.

NORTH: And then he went on, Randi, and then made the point that it was just like what was being taught to people over in the Middle East today, where radical – I’ve got the quote, and you’ve probably got it. It’s outrageous.

RANDI: We played it. It misses the point. The point I think that needs to be made, and the point that, if you are an honest person you’ll say is true that needs to be made is that, if you are a conservative talk radio is talk radio, – and that there are very few voices like mine, and that you know voices like mine don’t get syndicated on Clear Channel because of guys like Rush Limbaugh. So that, you know, it kind of limits the range of things that are being talked about on talk radio.

NORTH: Clear Channel, Clear Channel, Fox News Radio, Rush Limbaugh, no matter who it is, they will put on what people want to hear.

RANDI: No, that’s not true. I have actually, I have actually heard that Rush has said that he would take his show elsewhere if they did anything with mine. Now that’s not, you know, freedom of the marketplace.

NORTH: Having not heard that, I can’t comment on it.

RANDI: I know you’ve heard it, because I know you’re friends. And you know it’s true.

NORTH: We are friends.

RANDI: I know you are, and that’s great. But you know what, that’s what he does. And that’s the hypocrisy of conservatism. They scream free marketplace, but God help you if you don’t agree.

NORTH: If you, if you could pull the numbers that Rush Limbaugh pulls, then they would put you up there – numbers here…

RANDI: Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Rush is twenty-first in his home market, and I’m two, I’m number two. Consistently.

NORTH: Then somewhere along the line, it’s the profit motive that drives this business. You and I both know it’s the numbers.

RANDI: Yes, but if you have a guy who’s making X amount of dollars, and you have this unproven person who’s only worked in the one market, and he says, “Hey, fine, I’ll just take my stuff and go to Westwood One…”

NORTH: Randi, my heart bleeds for you.

RANDI: Yeah, I know. This is the hypocrisy of conservatism. What do you make of Homeland Security and how do you feel about your old boss Admiral Poindexter heading up the Total Information Awareness Department?

NORTH: They couldn’t have found a better person to do it.

RANDI: Well I know he’s smart … I know he’s smart.

NORTH: What you want is a person who is wedded to the idea of the Constitution of the United States. He’s taken an oath to support and defend it for the better part of thirty-five years of his life.

RANDI: And then breaks his oath.

NORTH: He never broke his oath.

RANDI: He was convicted, what are you talking about? He lied to Congress, like you did. I mean – come on -

NORTH: Randi, Randi, one of the reasons why liberals don’t make it in radio is they can’t tell the truth. First of all -

RANDI: I have the, I admit, I have the whole thing in front of me -

NORTH: No one has convicted me of lying to Congress.

RANDI: Lawrence Walsh and I are very good friends. And Lawrence Walsh and I have talked about you at length any number of times.

NORTH: And I think that’s wonderful that Lawrence Walsh finally has an outlet.

RANDI: And Lawrence Walsh found you guilty of lying to Congress, shredding documents, and then it was overturned on appeal. These are the facts.

NORTH: Wait wait …Randi, Randi, first of all, those aren’t the facts.

RANDI: Yes they are.

NORTH: First of all, no one even charged me with lying to Congress.

RANDI: Oh, please.

NORTH: I wasn’t even charged with it.

RANDI: What were you charged with?

NORTH: It was a 23-count indictment. If you’ve got Lawrence Walsh’s book there, you ought to be able to read it.

RANDI: I did. And what were you charged with?

NORTH: Well, all 23 counts?

RANDI: Just basically – what was the, what was the thrust of the case against you – what was the crime?

NORTH: Let’s just deal with the …

RANDI: What, what was the crime? Why was it a criminal case?

NORTH: Well, one of the things that they wanted to do was they wanted to try people for violating the Boland Amendment. Do you remember the Boland, do you remember what the Boland Amendment said?

RANDI: Exactly, yes I do. Yes, it said no more money to Nicaragua, and you took $25 million from the Saudis, laundered it, and gave it to –

NORTH: It was $35 million.

RANDI: According to him it’s $25, so he cut you some slack.

NORTH: They guy can’t even count.

RANDI: Oh, well, so Lawrence Walsh is …

NORTH: The special -- that’s why the special prosecutors have passed through the pages of history.

RANDI: But here’s the point what I want to talk about – I want to talk about it because of Poindexter.
NORTH: Wait, you asked me a question, let me answer the question.

RANDI: Right.

NORTH: You asked me a question, let me answer the question.

RANDI: Yeah, I mean you’ve got this guy –

NORTH: What he wanted to do was to indict dozens of people close to Ronald Reagan in hopes that one of us would sell Ronald Reagan down the river.

RANDI: Well, no.

NORTH: And what Ronald Reagan did was not violate the Boland Amendment, which said, and I quote the Boland Amendment, this is from memory – it goes back 15 years – ready? “No funds made available by this act shall be used for the purposes or which would have the effect of providing direct or indirect support for military or paramilitary operations against the government of Nicaragua.” And you know what?

RANDI: And?

NORTH: No funds made available by –

RANDI: Oh, God! You’re hallucinating. I don’t know how you twist this in your head.

NORTH: That’s a fact - This is why liberals don’t make it, Randi – look at the facts.

RANDI: This is why conservatives are hypocrites. The fact is you were convicted. It was overturned on, on…

NORTH: For what? What was I convicted of?

RANDI: … for immunity, for using immunized testimony against truthful testimony.

NORTH: You don’t get convicted for that.

RANDI: No, that’s how you were –

NORTH: See what happened…

Male Voice: That’s how it was overturned.

RANDI: Yeah.

NORTH: Here’s what happens. After the trial, after the trial, Randi –

RANDI: No, you’re going to talk your way through this.

NORTH: You asked me a question, but you won’t let me answer it.

RANDI: So you’re denying that you were ever convicted in a court of law?

NORTH: That’s right, I am denying it.

RANDI: Wow. Wow, that’s amazing. That’ is really frightening to me. You were convicted. Poindexter was convicted. Secord pleaded guilty. All of these people plead guilty, all of these people are convicted, including yourself. There were 14 convictions, there were 14 convictions in Iran Contra, and you were one of them, but you’re going to stand here and tell me you weren’t. Wow.

NORTH: I’m telling you the Constitution of the United States says if someone has their, has their conviction overturned on appeal –

RANDI: So okay, so I agree you were overturned on appeal, but were you convicted?

NORTH: Excuse me, excuse me

RAND: Were you convicted?

NORTH: Are you going to let me finish my sentence?

RANDI: Was there a moment in time…

NORTH: Go ahead, you answer the question.

RANDI: - was there a moment in time when you were convicted of a crime against the United States of America?

NORTH: You are answering my questions for me.

RANDI: I am asking the question. Was there a time when you were convicted for a crime against the United States of America?

NORTH: Randi, Randi, let me just state, the way the constitution works, the way the constitution works, Randi –

RANDI: Fine. If this is the way you want to be known, that’s fine with me. I thought you were more honest, man. I thought you would admit it. I really did. I thought that you would admit it.

NORTH: Admit what, Randi?

RANDI: I thought that you would admit that you were, that you had been convicted at one time, and that it was overturned.

NORTH: That’s not the way the constitution works.

RANDI: Oh, god.

NORTH: You don’t like the constitution, that’s your problem.

RANDI: You didn’t like the constitution. You violated Congress’ order not to do this stuff.

NORTH: What? Well, then, why didn’t they try me for that?

RANDI: You just told me it was $35 million that you took from Saudi Arabia.

NORTH: Well, actually, I didn’t take it.

RANDI: It had to be laundered.

NORTH: It wasn’t laundered. It was deposited from one bank account in the Saudi government to another bank account that the Nicaraguan Resistance had.

RANDI: With Reagan’s knowledge?

NORTH: Oh, absolutely, he asked for it.

RANDI: Uh, huh, and so what was the problem?

NORTH: I don’t know.

RANDI: Then why did you go on trial?

NORTH: No one, no one was ever tried for that.

RANDI: Well, Ronald Reagan was they tried to depose him, and here’s what happened, “In late June, I filed my third…” – this is the Independent Council speaking – “In late June, I filed my third interim report. The report’s purpose was to inform Congress of the status of my investigation, but my goal was to stave off the political attacks and to assure the public that the final phase of the investigation was to determine whether officials at the highest level of government had sought to obstruct official inquiries.” And then he said -

NORTH: Rand, Randi – (unintelligible)

RANDI: Because if you’d let me finish. He said “So I decided to take the former President’s deposition myself.”

NORTH: That’s drivel.

RANDI: If Lawrence Walsh is lying...

NORTH: That’s drivel.

RANDI: “I decided to take the former President’s deposition myself. John Barret (?), Christina Spaulding (sp?) and I flew to California and met with Reagan in his Los Angeles office on July 24th. He was cordial and offered everybody licorice jelly beans, but he remembered almost nothing. Groping desperately for things he could remember, he told us anecdotes about his days in office. He recalled talking to M. Gorbachev in Geneva about a second summit meeting. For example –

NORTH: Wait, what?

RANDI: He had Alzheimers disease. He couldn’t be deposed.

NORTH: What year is this? What year is this?

RANDI: That he deposed Reagan? It’s probably 92 after Caspar Weinberger, when he went to indict Caspar Weinberger.

NORTH: When did Ronald Reagan leave office? Do you remember when Ronald Reagan left office?

RANDI: Yes, I remember when Ronald Reagan left office.

NORTH: What year was it?

RANDI: 1988

NORTH: Yeah. Well done. That’s good.

RANDI: Don’t start this crap. Because I remember the first time I ever went on a conservative radio show.

NORTH: Yeah.

RANDI: And the very first time, they were so hypocritical and insulting, that a woman could possibly read this book or that a woman could possibly read this indictment.

NORTH: You ought to read Under Fire. Nobody read Firewall.

RANDI: This is your handwriting. Okay. I have been working on this for years. Talking to Lawrence Walsh.

NORTH: This is your big chance, break the case.

RANDI: Well, you won’t admit that you were convicted, so there is no breaking the case.

NORTH: You don’t like the constitution. They brought the case back – the brought the case -

RANDI: YOU don’t like the constitution, and Admiral Poindexter hates it. Because I have a right to privacy, and the point of this conversation was to try and figure out whether or not you came down on the side of the constitution, or you came down on the side if -

NORTH: Let me ask you this, Randi…

RANDI: – you’re able now to go into my computer and read my emails, and all political dissent will be duly noted, and put into some -

NORTH: I can?

RANDI: Admiral Poindexter, and you are saying he’s brilliant man, and he’s the guy you want for the job, but you love the constitution.

NORTH: How often did YOU take an oath to support and defend the constitution?

RANDI: Oh, I was in the military, Oliver North, you have no idea!

NORTH: I just asked you the question, how often did you do it?

RANDI: Many times.

NORTH: Once, twice, five, ten?

RANDI: Probably three.

NORTH: Okay, I did it 22 times. John Poindexter –

RANDI: So what does that mean? You’re still less honest than I am. It doesn’t do anything for you. It doesn’t mean anything to you.

NORTH: Randi, Randi, first of all, it’s never polite to call somebody into your studios and then insult them by calling them –

RANDI: Sorry, you just proved yourself to be a person who is less than honest about being convicted.

NORTH: The fact is, Randi, that’s the constitution of the United States.

RANDI: I mean, you, you did do the crime. You didn’t have to do the time. Because you had friends in high places.

NORTH: No, Randi, there were no crimes, Randi. Let me just tell you this is why liberals don’t make it in television and radio.

RANDI: But I can guarantee you if I were in the military, if I were in the military and I subverted my oath, believe me, I wouldn’t have the President stepping in for me.

NORTH: That’s outrageous. It’s unconscionable. The President didn’t step in for me.

RANDI: Well then who protected you?

NORTH: The President didn’t, the constitution of the United States.

RANDI: Who kept telling Lawrence Walsh that everything was “national security,” and he had to –

NORTH: Lawrence Walsh had every record from my office. He had absolutely everything.

RANDI: You shredded everything.

NORTH: No, no, that’s not true.

RANDI: Oh, you didn’t shred anything either?

NORTH: Why wasn’t I convicted of that?

RANDI: You were!

NORTH: No, I wasn’t.

RANDI: Oh, god.

NORTH: It’s just not true, it’s not true.

RANDI: No. So tell me what you were convicted of, in your mind. What were you convicted of? Nothing? Right, you were convicted of nothing? It didn’t happen? This is just a sad –

NORTH: Let me just tell you – the constitution - you don’t understand the constitution –

RANDI: It’s a sad – liberal imagination – you were never convicted of a crime? You never had to defend yourself in a court of law and lost?

NORTH: No, that’s not the case. I did defend myself in a court of law.

RANDI: Did you lose? And did you lose?

NORTH: And it was sent to appeal.

RANDI: Did you lose at adjudication, not appeal?

NORTH: You don’t lose, you don’t lose – that’s the process in America – you don’t like the process, then go change it – then vote for guys like Daschle or -

RANDI: So you feel comfortable with Admiral Poindexter, who was convicted of the same sorts of crimes you were, conducting the Total Information Awareness office? You think that’s a really good step for America? You think that’s a constitutional idea, that every person’s papers and effects, and every person’s home can be –

NORTH: Where are you getting this drivel?

RANDI: From the darpa.mil website.

NORTH: The darpa.mil says nothing about –

RANDI: Oh, no? Maybe you should look at that too. But of course you won’t acknowledge that…

NORTH: Can I finish one sentence in this very brief interview?

RANDI: Yes.

NORTH: The darpa.mil website says absolutely nothing about going into your home or anyone else’s home or going through your paperwork. It says nothing about it.

RANDI: You likeThe Patriot Act? How about Section 203 of The Patriot Act? That says “sneak and peeks” are now permissible. Warrantless searches are okay in America?

NORTH: How do, how do you want to stop terrorism?

RANDI: How do I want to stop terrorism.

NORTH: Yeah.

RANDI: I would like to go where they are and kill them. But, see, you would like to keep everybody in fear so that you can, you know erode civil liberties.

NORTH: How do you know - I’m curious as to how liberals understand what’s going on in my head.

RANDI: If you could possibly be, if you could possibly be for any sort of invasive technology that would take away my privacy in my own home, then you are absolutely for the erosion of civil liberties. Period. If you don’t want to fight terrorists where terrorists live –

NORTH: What are you talking about?

RANDI: - Then you need to – then you need to snoop on me.

NORTH: How many other people in your studio have been shot at and hit besides me? You?

RANDI: Me.

NORTH: You? Okay, where were you shot?

RANDI: (Laughter)

NORTH: Okay, what country were you shot in? Thanks.

RANDI: This country. I don't know, nobody's patriotism is as good as yours, Oliver North, that's really sad, but you won't admit you were convicted of a crime against the United States.